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Proof of Just How Random Teenagers Can Be.

Friday, July 01, 2005

BY THE POWER OF ROCKRIDGE!!!!!!

Here my friends are the some of my favorite quotes from the great movie "Blazing Saddles"

Jim: The Waco Kid: What did you expect? "Welcome sonny," "Make yourself at home," "Marry my daughter." You've got to remember, that these are just simple farmers, these are people of the land, the common clay of the new west. You know . . . morons.

Bart: Who is this Mongo, anyway?
Jim: The Waco Kid: Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who," he's more of a "what."


Hedley Lamarr: Repeat after me: I...
Men: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Men: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks. [aloud] do pledge allegiance...
Men: ...do pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...
Men: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's *Hedley*.
Men: That's Hedley.

Bart: I better go check out this Mongo character. [Bart reaches for his gun]
Jim: Oh no, don't do that.
Bart: Why not?
Jim: If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad.

Bart: You be my guest, and I be your host. What be your pleasure, Jim?
Jim: I don't know... play chess... screw...
Bart: [quickly] Let's play chess.

[Bart on grandstand to the townspeople]
Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.
[Bart reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams. Bart pulls out paper]
Crowd: Ahhhhh.

[describing how everyone wanted to duel him when he was The Waco Kid]
Jim: Then one day I hear "Reach for it, mister." I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

to two members of the KKK]
Jim: Oh boys, lookee what I got heyuh.
Bart: Hey, where the white women at.

Buddy Bizarre: Cut, cut, cut, this is a closed set.
Taggart: Piss on you, I'm working for Mel Brooks.
[Winds up to punch Buddy Bizarre]
Buddy Bizarre: Not the face. Not the face.
[Taggart complies, punching him in the stomach]
Buddy Bizarre: [collapsing] Thank you.

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto"? "Ditto," you provincial putz?

Taggart: I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: What?
Taggart: Let's kill every first born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: Nah, too Jewish.

Taggart: What do you want me to do sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up ever vicious criminal and gun slinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?

[a gang, bent on destruction, reaches a tollbooth]
Taggart: Anybody got a dime? Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload a' dimes.

Hedley Lamarr: Maybe I could turn this thing into my advantage... if I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very *appearance* would drive them out of town. [to camera]
Hedley Lamarr: But where would I find such a man?
[pause]
Hedley Lamarr: ... Why am I asking you?

Singer: "Blazing Saddles": He conquered fear, and he conquered hate, / He turned our night into day, / He made his blazing saddle / A torch to light the way...

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